another moral hangover. fuck.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
