exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
