maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
