DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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