I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there's paper in my vomit.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
