Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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