Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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