Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I forget how to act sober
Randomize