Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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