just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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