i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize