There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
A bitchslap is in order.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
