Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
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Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
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How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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