I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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