No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize