My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
