batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize