My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
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