Screwed.edu
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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