I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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