Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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