I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize