Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
