she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
