The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
