Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
