why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
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He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
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I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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