You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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