just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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