She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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