Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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