i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
