He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
