@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
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