I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
