We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
