and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
