He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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