at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
