Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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