Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
