I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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