is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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