Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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