How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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