drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
where are my eyebrows?
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