Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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