You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
