DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
