This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
