I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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