i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
