Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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