Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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