I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
