Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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