I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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