i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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