Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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