why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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