that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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