put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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