Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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