What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
