you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
